November

I know nobody reads this, and it's probably for the best anyway...nothing fun is ever written on here anymore...I just feel so lost...so down...so lonely... Everything is constantly upside down and inside out...when did my life become so fucked up? If you read my earlier postings all seems great, fantastic...exciting even...now; it's just crap. Depression, sadness, fear, loneliness...etc. I really want to wake up tomorrow and be somewhere else...be somebody else...somebody who is loved, and is living a life where she feels secure and balanced, healthy, happy. I want that for myself but I just don't know how to attain it. I really don't. I wish I had a mentor or some sort of wise old guru to lead me through this insane path I've been on lately. Somebody who could show me the way to happiness, or at least point me toward the right road that leads to it... I feel so completely alone in the world... anyway, I'll write again someday...not that anybody reads this...:(