Funeral for a friend.

How do you say goodbye to somebody you love? How do you let go of that precious bond you shared? Tomorrow is the wake for my sweet dearly departed friend Diane. Oh God how I miss her. I miss her smile, and her laughter and her hugs. I cry whenever I think about her. I can't believe she's gone. I can't believe that life could be this fu**ing cruel.  If you had known Di like I knew her you would be just as hysterical. Nobody, but nobody that I know was as sweet and loving and respectful and generous and kind...I could go on and on...Why is it that people who commit horrendous crimes or people who intentionally hurt others can continue to inhabit the earth while somebody so incredibly special can be eradicated from this earth at the age of 39, leaving behind her husband, 2 children, brother, parents, family and countless friends? I don't understand...there is no logic...I live my life logically...this has thrown me for the biggest loop...I can't understand, nor can I even attempt to justify the loss of this incredible woman. I miss you Di...so very much...I love you my friend...always will...like you said, "Friends 4 Ever!!"

Your sad, sad friend for ever,

Linda

:(

Sweet Lady D...

April 24th, 2009 at 12:05 am the world became a much darker place. My very close, dear friend Diane Mantha-Loyer passed away at the tender age of 39 due to complications of weight loss surgery. Diane had her surgery December 3rd, 2008 in Michigan. She had a procedure called the Duodenal Switch. According to all the evidence and research done about this procedure it was practically fool-proof. I had gone with Diane to an information session with regards to this procedure and was just as impressed with it as she was. We both booked appointments with our Family Doctors and joined a support group in the valley for people who've had or were considering weight loss surgery.  The people we met and the stories we heard were awe inspiring.  These people, both men and women, had been through so much and had come through their surgeries with ease and had lost tremendous amounts of weight. Impressive indeed. We attended several more meetings and got approval from our doctors to apply for funding through OHIP for the expense of the operation.  At the last minute and through much cajoling on my mother's part, I decided not to go through with the surgery. I figured I would just put my mind to it and lose weight. I would diet and exercise and just give it one last try. If I were not successful, well then, the surgery was always a last ditch option. Diane was disappointed and saddened by my last minute drop out of our weight loss journey, but she understood and kept with it.  Diane continued to attend the meetings and went to Michigan to meet with the surgeon Dr. Lu.  She was impressed by his professionalism and positive track record.  Diane went for surgery December 3rd, 2008.  I ran into her on Christmas day as I was leaving my mom's house and she was heading to her mom's place. (They live across the street from each other.) Diane was all smiles. She told me about her surgery and how she'd already lost 42 pounds and though she couldn't really eat yet, she felt great about her weight loss. I told her that I was happy for her and that we'd have to get together really soon. I also told her how I'd lost approximately the same amount of weight through working my butt off at the flower shop throughout the Christmas holidays and she was genuinely happy for me too.  Little did I know that Christmas Day 2008 would be the very last time I would see my dear sweet friend alive. Diane spent most of the beginning of 2009 in and out of hospitals. She went to and from the Toronto General becoming an inpatient on several occasions due to complications from her weight loss surgery. Diane was in extreme pain. She had to deal with leakages, absesses and not being able to injest or digest any food or liquid. She finally came out of the hospital a few weeks ago, and though she couldn't keep anything down she was thrilled to have lost over 100 pounds.  Her family doctor planned to send her to an Eating Disorders Clinic in Toronto since she could not keep any food down. She was afraid at this point to eat. She would not eat solid food, nor would she drink anything. She wouldn't even keep down Ensure...neither in liquid, nor when they froze it into a popsicle.  A couple of days ago Diane became violently ill. She was nauseous, had the chills, and was in an incredible amount of pain. Diane was rushed to St-Joseph's Health Center in Sudbury and upon quick examination was rushed into emergency surgery. Diane was bleeding internally and died on the operating table. Nothing could be done to save her. Diane was 39 years old, had a happy marriage to a wonderful man whom she'd been with since high school. She had 2 beautiful children, Natasha aged 20 and Stephan aged 12.  Life isn't always fair. Life can be cruel. Diane truly exemplified a beautiful, sweet, loving, intelligent woman who had been put down by so many people for not conforming to the norms this society likes to impose upon women. She was not thin, she never had been. Diane spent her life being put down by her peers for not fitting the "skinny" mold. She was not comfortable in her own skin. She felt less than human because people thought of her as obese. She was told she would be beautiful once she lost weight. She would no longer be the girl with the pretty face and great personality with a big booty. She would be the woman she'd always dreamt of being. I just want people to know that Diane was beautiful way before she ever lost a pound. Diane was one of the most beautiful people I knew. She had the capacity of making a suicidal person think twice. She could make anybody smile. She made you feel special when you were in her presence. She made you smile, and laugh and enjoy life. I wish Diane could have seen what myself and countless others including her friends and family saw. A beautiful ray of sunshine; an angel; a sweet, loving, caring, beautiful angel. Diane, I will miss you forever, you were truly a silver lining on the cloudiest of days, a beautiful flower who never discovered how truly beautiful she was; an incredible friend, mother, daughter, sister, wife; a beacon of hope; a confidant, a warrior, a hero. I will always be proud that you let me into your heart and I will be forever honoured that you called me your friend.

Rest in peace my sweet sweet loving Lady D....

Love always and forever,

Your friend Linda

April Update

Hey everybody...I know, I know, I haven't written in quite a while...well, I've been so massively busy I haven't had a second to myself, let alone time to write in my blog. This is the first time in weeks that I have a teensy bit of alone time and I'm relishing in it for as long as it lasts...although I do have Troy yelling at me from upstairs that the cats are fighting...asking me if I want coffee...lol...well, that I guess I can handle...it's nice to have gotten up this morning to quiet. The girls are with their mother this weekend which has given us some much needed relaxation time, although by the time this day is over I shall have packed up my apartment or most of it anyway and should be relatively exhausted. It's a rainy day out so I'll be hearing the rain on the rooftops which under normal circumstances lulls me into a deep sleep...this time however I think I'll probably just enjoy the quietness and serenity of the raindrops.  So, as you may have guessed, I'm moving....Troy and I are moving into our new home in less than 2 weeks and are thrilled, anxious, a bit tired, but mostly happier than pigs in mud...lol...It will be a whole new start for us...one that we hope will bring a better sense of normalcy to our lives than the one we've been living...wish us luck...the next time I write I should be established in my new home and shouting it's praises...Lord I hope so! lol...Ciao for now my bellas...