Pheromones

Research clearly shows that animals and insects react positively to pheromones... they instantly can tell when another of the same species, of the opposite sex, is interested or attracted to it simply by the pheromones it emits... Humans also emit pheromones... oddly enough, when you're single, nobody but nobody gives a rat's ass about you... couldn't care less... not attracted to you, don't care, they want nothing to do with you... The second...and I mean, the SECOND you get a boyfriend/girlfriend...the entire city is suddenly attracted to you...they can't get enough... they're smiling, flirting, winking...you name it...they're all over you... all of a sudden exes come out of the woodwork...they want to get together..."For old time's sake"... they email you, call you, send you pictures.... before you met someone, they didn't even remember you existed...suddenly though, there they are..."Hey Baby, I miss you"...WTF??? Not only are exes suddenly back in the picture...it is my experience at the moment that suddenly everybody's a flirt...the salesperson at the corner shop, the bus driver, co-workers...everybody!! lol... Don't worry people, the second I'll be single again...they'll all disappear...POOF! LOL... Let's hope I don't have to experience my non-pheromone existence again for quite some time...:o)

The Staff Christmas Party

Well well well...it seems the time has finally come for the Lougheed Staff Christmas Party...We are all expected to participate in this yearly ritual of Secret Santas and overindulgent eating...only problem here is that our Christmas party at Lougheed's is a daytime event...therefore, no drunken butt photocopying, no kissing hot married co-workers...no drinking at all...no actual interesting festivities...only a Kris Kringle present, a lunch, a social "Hi, Happy Holidays...Merry Christmas...Happy Hanukkah...yaddah yaddah...", with people we see every single day of the week...eat, burp, smile...go back to work..WOW...can I really handle all the excitement?? I suppose I must...slap on my big girl panties...put on a big ass goofy grin and pretend to like it...not much unlike sex.......MWAHAHAHA!! Merry Christmas everyone!!

A cat's life...

Not only do the poinsettias continue to live to mock me...I've discovered another deviously charming creature that lives to do so as well...my cats...Tiger and Molly...This is how a usual evening at home goes...I come home from work...exhausted...trying desperately to get off my feet for the first time that day...and so it begins..."Molly, Molly, Molly...stop chewing the bag...Molly, drop the damn bag...stop it...Molly, Molly, MOLLY! STOP IT!...ahhhh...finally...Oh for the love of...TIGER...get out of the damn christmas tree...stop it...I said, get out of the tree...leave those damn balls alone...you're gonna break them...Tiger, Tiger, TIGER!!!" By now, I've thrown a sock his way; missed...hit the tree...DAMN! I have to get up to put that ball back on...MOLLY...leave the friggin bag alone....TIGER, leave the bows on the presents...what's the matter with you friggin cats! You're driving me crazy!!! Help!!!!! Ahhhh...all is finally quiet...what the hell was that??? TIGER!!!!!!! MOLLY!!!!

And thus goes my evening until I finally tumble, exhausted into my bed...and the purring...kneeding and cat fights for spot supremecy begin...Gotta love my cats...MWAHAHAHA! or should I say...MEOWOWOW!

Ode to the Poinsettia

Oh precious Poinsettia, why do you mock me? Do you enjoy watching me toil over you endlessly, day in and day out...adding water to your perilously dry carcus, thinking I've made a difference just to return the next day to find you in as flimsy a state as you were in your pre-watered existence? I do believe you live merely to tease me. You like to make me believe I've added quality to your life by seeming to bloom in your bright scarlet jacket only to reveal to the first pair of eyes that peer your underbelly your rapidly shriveled and decaying bust. Why oh why must I continue to suffer through another day, hour, minute of your impervious ego? I dare not ask...I must continue...I must do my job in order to continue to thrive in my everyday existence...my job is and continues to be to water the Poinsettias!! So water them I must; and water them I will...Till we meet again...I shall awaken with dread on monday morning next...Oh precious Poinsettia...why do you mock me???

First Post

Welcome to my Blog!

I have decided to publish my rantings in a public forum. Perhaps somebody will pay attention. If not, then I will write for myself...a sort of defacto diary if you will. I look forward to setting free some of my crazy thoughts for any and all to see. Should you choose to join me in my rantings and musings then I welcome you. Should you choose to simply read my rantings and musings, then I welcome you also. All are welcome, none are shunned...Let the musings begin...