Yes, I'm still alive!

Howdy people! I'm back and better than ever...I'm finally getting back on my feet after this horrific grief filled year. Troy got a new job which he started today and I've decided to rediscover my artistic side. I've been painting...a lot...with oils, acrylics and oil pastels...I've been painting mainly modern abstracts but also some pop art in oil pastels..I'm enjoying every single minute of it...Hopefully by spring I'll have enough paintings done to attend a craft show...things are finally starting to look up...I'm looking forward to Christmas and having all the kids over and eating some yummy turkey, and ham and tons and tons of goodies! Merry Christmas to all...and to all a good night...lol...By the way, I can't wait for 2010....2009 sucked the big one! lol...Talk to you later peeps...LOVE YOU ALL!!

Crossroads

How odd life seems these days. One minute things are alright, the next I'm whisked away by the turbulence that is my life. Chaos, stress, aggravation...these words all seem to embody my current state of being, chaotic, stressful and severely aggravated. The status of my relationship seems to be in question. My cat went missing and I'm worried sick about him. I don't know. There's a bear living in my yard. I hope to hell he hasn't eaten my cat...fuck! I'd like to say I'm having a shitty day, but it's more like I'm having a shitty life...know what I mean?? Yeah, I'm sure you do...anyway, that's all I gotta say for now...just wanted to get that off my chest.... BYE

Melancholy Baby...

I must say I can't wait for 2009 to be over. The year started off okay but it's just spiraled into the abyss since then and I'm free falling into hell. I've lost so much this year, from stupid things like furniture to incredibly important things like people. I feel so overwhelmed at times. I feel sad, empty, lost. I miss Diane and Uncle D. I miss their laughter, their spirit, their love. Although I'm surrounded by people who love me, I feel alone...so very alone. The stress is overwhelming. I just want simplicity. I want to be able to pick up a phone and call my Uncle D and tell him I love him and I'll see him soon. I can't believe he's gone. Christmas is around the corner and I'll pick up the movie Christmas Vacation and come to put it on; then I'll remember; Uncle D's gone...it was OUR movie...OUR ritual...Dad's gone, Uncle D's gone, Diane's gone...Jessica's moved into her own place...whichever way you slice it, I feel like I've been abandoned...either willingly or unwillingly. I know Troy's here for me. He loves me. I love him. It doesn't stop the pain, the sadness, the emptiness that's invaded my entire being. I hope and pray 2010 will bring happiness. I can't take anymore bad news, stress, sadness in my life. Hey, say a little prayer for me if you're reading this okay! I'd appreciate it! Bye for now...Mamacita, aka Melancholy Baby :(

Long time no talk...

Well, I know, I know, I've been keeping everybody out of the loop for some time now. Life has been crazy. I've moved out to the Valley...I went through another personal loss...I had a heart attack...life's been crazy...like I said! I don't know...don't you ever wonder if you're actually living the life you were meant to? I sometimes feel like I'm walking around in a dream...living some stranger's life... last year at this time I was working, single, living in a 2 bedroom apartment in the Flour Mill...now I'm engaged to be married, living in a beautiful 3 bedroom house, I have a whack of kids, a whack of animals and I'm no longer working due to my health... wild huh? Oh well, at least I'm here...and I have a much more varied life than I did this time last year...anyway, that's it for my update...I know it's short, but I'll tell you all more later! Love you bitches...

Death waits for no one...

Well, I should have known it wouldn't be long before my serenity was shattered by yet another heartbreak... My favourite Uncle...My sweet, funny, loving Uncle David aka Uncle Ankle or Uncle D is gone. He got up this morning, just like every other morning, went to the bathroom, had a shower, shaved, had his coffee, got dressed, grabbed his lunch and left for work. According to reports from some of his coworkers, Uncle D had a very specific routine. He would get to work, park in front of his office in the exact same spot he has used for the last ten years, grab his lunch back, briefcase and coffee. He would lock the car, head into the office, smile and say a hearty "Good morning" to everybody. He would then proceed to his own office, set down his briefcase, put his lunch in his mini fridge and take a few sips of his coffee. He would then grab the coffee, go outside with a few of his coworkers, have a cigarette and head back in for the routine morning meeting. Today however, things weren't the same from the get go...Uncle D got up, had his shower, got changed, got his lunch ready and his coffee however, he was an hour late...according to my aunt he lingered in the car for a few minutes before leaving...which was very unusual for him. She was headed out the door to check on him when she saw him leave. According to his coworkers Uncle D showed up at work later than usual...parked on the side of the building, which was completely out of character for him, stayed in the car for about ten to fifteen minutes; got out of the car without his lunch bag or his coffee, headed straight past everybody and went directly into his office. He never came outside for the morning "smoke break/get together" and when it came time for the morning meeting, he was nowhere to be found. They paged him twice and feeling something must be wrong somebody was dispatched to go check his office. There they found him...lying on the floor....dead of a massive heart attack....he was 49 years old...I cannot express the pain and sorrow I am feeling right now. The loss I feel is so deep and so completely heart wrenching. Uncle D and I were close...we laughed together, enjoyed each other's company, cheered each other up, encouraged each other and were there to console each other during our toughest personal tragedies. Uncle D was pallbearer at my dad's funeral 3 years ago....Dad died july 25, 2006, and Uncle D died july 27, 2009...exactly 3 years and 2 days after my Dad...I was going to ask him to give me away at my wedding...I'm at a loss...Uncle D, you'll forever be in my heart...a huge piece has been broken off and has gone with you...I feel incomplete... when all my chips were down, you were always there with kind words, loving words, sincere words...wise words....I'll love you forever Uncle D...I'll forever mourn your loss! The world is a much sadder place without you in it, without you to share my triumphs and my defeats...I'll miss you my Uncle, my Confidant, my Friend....xoxoxoxoxo, You'll always be my Ankle, and I'll always be your Knees...xoxoxoxo

Serenity

At long last I'm sitting here...it's quiet...nobody's home except for me and my pets...the kids are at their mother's, Troy's at work, Jessica's at work...peace and quiet...wow...it's been so long I barely know what to do with myself. Sitting here I find that I have so many things I could be doing that I'm rather overwhelmed at the choices...lol...I could pack...yuck...or continue working on my rug...read, watch a show or a movie...sleep...call somebody...or just write a little something on my blog...Guess which I chose? lol...well, things are better than they were during my last post. We have a new home that we're moving into very soon...it's got a huge yard, basketball court, two sheds, two fire pits, a horseshoe pit...oh, and did I mention an above ground pool??? Oh yes...a huge, above ground pool...I can't wait to go swimming...we'd better start getting a summer or we wont even get to enjoy it...now that would be a pity... I'm anxious to invite people over for a bbq, a swim and a bonfire!! Oh yes, as I told everyone on facebook...I'm movin' on up...lol...well, I guess it's about time eh? Can't wait to move...hate moving, but like the thought that I'll finally have my dream home! I'll update you all once I've moved in and am settled...I'll post pics! Love you my pretties!! Ciao for now!

My Sign...

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Misery

The weather sucks, our rent-to-own deal fell through because our "landlord/seller" decided it would be easier to sell the house out from under us rather than get it up to code. There is mold growing in the form of very large mushrooms in Jessica's bedroom in the basement...the retaining wall was removed in the house therefore the upstairs is actually caving in as can be clearly seen from the outside as well as the kitchen ceiling which is drooping all to hell...they've never gotten us a new outside door for the back so if we open the big door our puppy gets out and runs all over God's creation....(he's 11 months old, part lab and part greyhound) ...you get the picture...anyway, the list of problems with the house goes on and on...so what does he do instead of repairing it for us...we get a knock at the door and it's a realtor letting us know he's been told to put up a sign since the owner has decided to put it up for sale...fuck the fact that he's got a deal with us, fuck the fact that I'm his wife's cousin, fuck the fact that we've been taking good care of the place and that we've pointed out what needs to be done and even offered to fix it....fuck all that...why should he care...it's too much life fucking work...better off to kick out a family who just moved it...got rid of half their stuff in order to move in here and has no place to go...fan-fucking-tastic... Not to mention, Troy's children are constantly coming back from their mother's place bruised, crying, taking temper tantrums, yadda yadda...we've gone to the CAS at least once a week in the last 3 months, with pictures, and complaints...they don't seem that concerned because the children's mother is saying they're just clumsy!!!! Now, the oldes child (who is 6 years old) tells the worker in person what her mother is doing to her...she describes both physical and sexual abuse...the worker tells us to keep them at our place and not send them to their mother's place since this time it's serious...she calls back the next day and says the mother says it never happened...so it's up to us if we want to send them back!!!!!WTF!! We brought them to the doctor's to have them checked out....the oldest repeated what she had told the CAS worker...the doctor called CAS...they apparently said that it's still being investigated...further interviews with their mother should be happening sometime soon...nothing else...WTF??? I'm at a loss....seriously...the kids may have to go back to a monster's home...we're probably losing our home...Troy is not well....I'm going to fucking lose it very shortly I assure you...HELP!!!!!!

Summer, and clouds, and storms oh my!

Told ya summer wouldn't last long...lol...well, at least the storms are showing up throughout the night...not so bad I suppose... I felt I must post something considering that some of my childhood icons are dropping like flies and I'm starting to feel a little less invincible every day...lol... Okay, first of all...Farrah...dear blonde headed, hot bodied, envied by women, lusted after by men, adored, then later in life pitied Farrah...I suppose she lived a fairly rich life. I mean, men loved her, as I said, adored her actually...she had a buttload of money...but she never truly seemed happy. I mean, her son is in prison and wasn't able to attend her deathbed...her glorified "common law husband" was a drunk and woman beater. Nice....NOT! Well, rest in peace ye olde blonde bombshell... Okay, okay, secondly but certainly never ever least...Michael....oh yes...revered, adored, admired, rich beyond belief....loathed, hated, child molester, black, white, crazed man child Michael Jackson...what can I say? You taught us our abc's and 123's in the 60's (before my time, hehe), you were "Off the Wall" in the 70's, you "Thrilled" us in the 80's...you taught us it didn't matter if we were "Black or White" in the 90's then for all intents and purposes completely fell off the grid in the new millenium. I suppose nobody could blame you what with the lawsuits, bankruptcy threats, child molestation charges, health woes...yadda yadda...still, a little piece of me will always remember you as you were in your hayday...a moon walking, crotch grabbing, insanely rich, brilliant and talented teen idol. Thanks for the memories MJ.... Oh, I guess I should mention Ed McMahon died too....um...well....Johnny....Heeeeeeere's Eddie! :o) RIP ... Well, that's my rant for now...love you all.....and you all know who you are! ;)

Ciao for now my pretties....je t'aime...xoxo

Oh glorious summer...welcome back...

Oh how I miss those days of my childhood when all there was to do was swim, suck on popsicles and wait for the sun to go down to catch fireflies and sit by the campfire and roast wieners and marshmallows. I remember swimming all day... making sand castles, covering my entire body with mud then jumping back in the water and feeling how soft my skin would feel afterwards. I remember boat rides, fishing, and ghost stories. I remember hanging out at the arcade at Wilderness Park and attending bluegrass festivals. I remember drinking pop shoppe pop by the case and playing tag with all the kids in the campsite. I remember "Six Pack Lane" at Carol's Campsite and all the friends I made there. I remember running the chip stand and pretending I was older than my 13 years since it was against the law to work that young... I remember long walks in the woods, and going to the drive in with Rerun, and Evan and Belinda and Lynne. I do miss those days, however I suppose the time has come to make new memories. Those summers were the best of times though, and I never will forget them. I'll carry them in my heart forever. Oh glorious summer, welcome back...:o)

June...summer...oh summer...where are you??

Hello peeps...so, what have I been up to you ask? Not much... getting busy getting the house up to par, trying to get the yard to look decent, trying to find a new job..... Well, the good news is, I found one...yep, yep, I'm once again employed...I'm happy about that...I'll finally be able to catch up on some bills. I'm not a big fan of overdue notices if you know what I mean...so, finally I'll be able to go shopping and actually buy something once again instead of paying bills and have 13 cents left in the bank...lol...Oh well, c'est la vie...talk to you all soon...I'll let you guys know about the new job and how it's going real soon....

Ciao for now bellas,

Linda

The Merry Month of May...

Well, we're already into May and so far it's been a strange roller coaster ride through peaks of pure joy and depths of pure hell... I love my new home, and am thrilled at the way everything is coming along...the girls' rooms have been painted and decorated courtesy of Jessica, and there was relatively little to do except change the kitchen faucet and locks on the doors. I know there's much more to do later, but for now everything's fine... on the other hand, I lost one of my best friends, we had to go to court to settle custodial issues for the girls, we had to have one of the cats euthanized, the school and daycare for the girls are giving us a hard time...the fun never ends I tell ya... other than all of that I'm beginning to truly get restless...I need to get back to work... I'm not sure what I'll do, but I have to do something...I need to be able to have something in my life that doesn't revolve around court and exes and stress... I need an outlet...I love my new family, I really really do... I just need time to myself... and I have to figure out if that means returning to work, or starting my own business...dunno...not sure yet...guess I'll just go see the new Star Trek movie and pig out on greasy popcorn until I figure it out...;) Ciao for now Bellas...

Funeral for a friend.

How do you say goodbye to somebody you love? How do you let go of that precious bond you shared? Tomorrow is the wake for my sweet dearly departed friend Diane. Oh God how I miss her. I miss her smile, and her laughter and her hugs. I cry whenever I think about her. I can't believe she's gone. I can't believe that life could be this fu**ing cruel.  If you had known Di like I knew her you would be just as hysterical. Nobody, but nobody that I know was as sweet and loving and respectful and generous and kind...I could go on and on...Why is it that people who commit horrendous crimes or people who intentionally hurt others can continue to inhabit the earth while somebody so incredibly special can be eradicated from this earth at the age of 39, leaving behind her husband, 2 children, brother, parents, family and countless friends? I don't understand...there is no logic...I live my life logically...this has thrown me for the biggest loop...I can't understand, nor can I even attempt to justify the loss of this incredible woman. I miss you Di...so very much...I love you my friend...always will...like you said, "Friends 4 Ever!!"

Your sad, sad friend for ever,

Linda

:(

Sweet Lady D...

April 24th, 2009 at 12:05 am the world became a much darker place. My very close, dear friend Diane Mantha-Loyer passed away at the tender age of 39 due to complications of weight loss surgery. Diane had her surgery December 3rd, 2008 in Michigan. She had a procedure called the Duodenal Switch. According to all the evidence and research done about this procedure it was practically fool-proof. I had gone with Diane to an information session with regards to this procedure and was just as impressed with it as she was. We both booked appointments with our Family Doctors and joined a support group in the valley for people who've had or were considering weight loss surgery.  The people we met and the stories we heard were awe inspiring.  These people, both men and women, had been through so much and had come through their surgeries with ease and had lost tremendous amounts of weight. Impressive indeed. We attended several more meetings and got approval from our doctors to apply for funding through OHIP for the expense of the operation.  At the last minute and through much cajoling on my mother's part, I decided not to go through with the surgery. I figured I would just put my mind to it and lose weight. I would diet and exercise and just give it one last try. If I were not successful, well then, the surgery was always a last ditch option. Diane was disappointed and saddened by my last minute drop out of our weight loss journey, but she understood and kept with it.  Diane continued to attend the meetings and went to Michigan to meet with the surgeon Dr. Lu.  She was impressed by his professionalism and positive track record.  Diane went for surgery December 3rd, 2008.  I ran into her on Christmas day as I was leaving my mom's house and she was heading to her mom's place. (They live across the street from each other.) Diane was all smiles. She told me about her surgery and how she'd already lost 42 pounds and though she couldn't really eat yet, she felt great about her weight loss. I told her that I was happy for her and that we'd have to get together really soon. I also told her how I'd lost approximately the same amount of weight through working my butt off at the flower shop throughout the Christmas holidays and she was genuinely happy for me too.  Little did I know that Christmas Day 2008 would be the very last time I would see my dear sweet friend alive. Diane spent most of the beginning of 2009 in and out of hospitals. She went to and from the Toronto General becoming an inpatient on several occasions due to complications from her weight loss surgery. Diane was in extreme pain. She had to deal with leakages, absesses and not being able to injest or digest any food or liquid. She finally came out of the hospital a few weeks ago, and though she couldn't keep anything down she was thrilled to have lost over 100 pounds.  Her family doctor planned to send her to an Eating Disorders Clinic in Toronto since she could not keep any food down. She was afraid at this point to eat. She would not eat solid food, nor would she drink anything. She wouldn't even keep down Ensure...neither in liquid, nor when they froze it into a popsicle.  A couple of days ago Diane became violently ill. She was nauseous, had the chills, and was in an incredible amount of pain. Diane was rushed to St-Joseph's Health Center in Sudbury and upon quick examination was rushed into emergency surgery. Diane was bleeding internally and died on the operating table. Nothing could be done to save her. Diane was 39 years old, had a happy marriage to a wonderful man whom she'd been with since high school. She had 2 beautiful children, Natasha aged 20 and Stephan aged 12.  Life isn't always fair. Life can be cruel. Diane truly exemplified a beautiful, sweet, loving, intelligent woman who had been put down by so many people for not conforming to the norms this society likes to impose upon women. She was not thin, she never had been. Diane spent her life being put down by her peers for not fitting the "skinny" mold. She was not comfortable in her own skin. She felt less than human because people thought of her as obese. She was told she would be beautiful once she lost weight. She would no longer be the girl with the pretty face and great personality with a big booty. She would be the woman she'd always dreamt of being. I just want people to know that Diane was beautiful way before she ever lost a pound. Diane was one of the most beautiful people I knew. She had the capacity of making a suicidal person think twice. She could make anybody smile. She made you feel special when you were in her presence. She made you smile, and laugh and enjoy life. I wish Diane could have seen what myself and countless others including her friends and family saw. A beautiful ray of sunshine; an angel; a sweet, loving, caring, beautiful angel. Diane, I will miss you forever, you were truly a silver lining on the cloudiest of days, a beautiful flower who never discovered how truly beautiful she was; an incredible friend, mother, daughter, sister, wife; a beacon of hope; a confidant, a warrior, a hero. I will always be proud that you let me into your heart and I will be forever honoured that you called me your friend.

Rest in peace my sweet sweet loving Lady D....

Love always and forever,

Your friend Linda

April Update

Hey everybody...I know, I know, I haven't written in quite a while...well, I've been so massively busy I haven't had a second to myself, let alone time to write in my blog. This is the first time in weeks that I have a teensy bit of alone time and I'm relishing in it for as long as it lasts...although I do have Troy yelling at me from upstairs that the cats are fighting...asking me if I want coffee...lol...well, that I guess I can handle...it's nice to have gotten up this morning to quiet. The girls are with their mother this weekend which has given us some much needed relaxation time, although by the time this day is over I shall have packed up my apartment or most of it anyway and should be relatively exhausted. It's a rainy day out so I'll be hearing the rain on the rooftops which under normal circumstances lulls me into a deep sleep...this time however I think I'll probably just enjoy the quietness and serenity of the raindrops.  So, as you may have guessed, I'm moving....Troy and I are moving into our new home in less than 2 weeks and are thrilled, anxious, a bit tired, but mostly happier than pigs in mud...lol...It will be a whole new start for us...one that we hope will bring a better sense of normalcy to our lives than the one we've been living...wish us luck...the next time I write I should be established in my new home and shouting it's praises...Lord I hope so! lol...Ciao for now my bellas...

Stress...

I'm stressed...very, very stressed... and disappointed in certain folks in my life at the moment. I can't understand why people insist on hurting other people who are good to them and treat them right. I thrive to be a respectful, hard working, loyal worker and try to treat my co-workers with respect and consideration... why then do I get treated like crap?? It seems like the good tend to get kicked to the ground as soon as they appear to be too good...people don't seem to like it when a person is nicer than them...when one person is appreciated more or recognized more by their employer.... I suppose it's easy to become intimidated by a person who's friendly, fun and loved when your world is in shambles and you feel unloved and under valued... I must forgive these people, and try to forget...but let it be known that I will not continue to let myself be treated in this way... I don't deserve it... I'm a good person and I will follow my bliss wherever it takes me....

Ciao Bellas...

Mamacita

Damn you flu bug!!!

You guessed it I'm sure by the title of this entry...I've got the damn flu! Let me tell you...it doesn't matter what you're doing...where you've been, who you're with...when the flu hits...it knocks you down like a Mac truck doing 180 clicks...man...I went from tired (because I'd been working 13 hour days) to vomiting my guts out at 3 in the morning...not pretty my friends...so, that had me down for 2 days...I went back to work then BAM...off on my ass again! This time diarrhea...NICE! NOT!! LOL...what is it about getting older that makes you more susceptible to every little bug that goes around...and recovery is slow as hell...my muscles were aching...head pounding...throat sore...to put it mildly; I was a chocolate mess...lol...well, I think I've recovered...though I'm not quite sure yet...I'll let you know in the next few days...but thanks to some pretty special people in my life, I've managed to keep a smile on my face throughout my harrowing ordeal...lol...love you all!

Ciao for now my pretties...
Love Mamacita

March Non-Break

The children are off on their well earned spring breaks...parents are already pulling their hair out of their heads dreading the week ahead...lol...I for one am working the entire "march break"...therefore, no break for me...although along with my new status as a newly engaged woman I am also inheriting a new family.... my future husband Troy has 3 children...a son named Alex who is 13 ( who doesn't live with him) and 2 daughters...Alaina, aged 6 and Amelia aged 3 who does live with him, or should I say...us...yes, I am now the mother of my 18 year old Jessica-Dawn as well as step mother to 3 new children...all of whom I love very very much... Christmas will definitely be much more exciting this year....presents, and food and laughter, oh my! lol...well, I'm going to go enjoy my only semi-day off in 14 days and I'll be sure to keep you all updated on all the new and exciting developments in my life...Love you all!!!

Mamacita
xo

Mamacita's ENGAGED!!!

Holy crap people...I'm engaged....seriously...to be married...LOL!! Can you believe it??? I thought I was going to die a lonely divorcee with nobody to love...but alas, I have found love...I have found a wonderful, loving, sensitive, considerate, funny, charming, sexy man...He's fantastic and makes me feel special every single moment of every single day... I love you Babe! You are my heart and my soul...I DO!! :o)

It's a new dawn...

Melancholy beware...optimism has returned. Sad days have gone by and I am once again relishing in the wonderment that is happiness. Things certainly have taken a turn for the better. I have a wonderful family and I love each and every one of them...I do...they make me incredibly happy and I am truly following my bliss...That's all I have to say for now...I'm happy...really, really happy...Ciao for now my bellas...xoxoxo

Melancholy...

Everybody is entitled to an off day. Today seems to be mine. There is about 5 feet of freshly fallen snow just outside my door...there's no end to the negative commentary about Mother Nature and her endless destructive rampage against us Northerners... I'm sitting here in my living room trying to enjoy the last hours of my day off, but I feel tired, sad, frustrated and incredibly lonely. I'll be working straight through for the next 7 days...non-stop...I'm not feeling well, and I miss my guy terribly. The snow is not only inundating every single inch of the city, but is hogging all my man's time. I haven't spent any time alone with him in days...and I miss him...I miss him terribly...I know everybody's used to me being happy go lucky and cheerful all the time...but I'm down today...it happens...thankfully, not often...Ciao bellas...send good vibes my way will ya! xo

My bucket list...

Hey everybody...well, I received a note on facebook called the bucket list...and as I'm sure you're all aware, a bucket list is a list of things you'd like to do or accomplish before you "kick the bucket"...so, I filled out the questionnaire on facebook but it really got me thinking about what it is I truly want to accomplish during my limited time here on earth...so I've started putting together my proverbial "bucket list"...here it is, in no particular order...and certainly not anywhere near finished...

1) weigh between 130 and 150
2) write a book
3) marry the man of my dreams
4) travel to europe
5) go on a caribbean cruise
6) run in an international marathon for Team Diabetes
7) learn to play guitar
8) learn a new language
9) buy a house
10) save money for retirement
11) learn more about astronomy and astrology
12) witness a miracle
13) witness the birth of a baby (yes, I've given birth but was too busy giving birth to watch..LOL)
14) do something that will inspire others
15) buy a SUV
16) make an art quilt
17) appear in a play
18) see a play on Broadway
19) go white water rafting
20) learn to fly a helicopter
21) attend mardi gras in New Orleans
22) visit the world's greatest wonders
23) visit the Maritime Provinces...I've seen all other provinces starting with Quebec going all the way to BC...
24) visit all 50 states

Okay, that's what I've come up with for now...I'm sure I'll be adding to the list as I think of more things...but for now, this will be sufficient...how many of these would you like to do???
Ciao for now my pretties...I'm off to enjoy my day off...:o)

An evening with Ron James...

Well people, I just got back from seeing Ron James live at the Fraser Auditorium...and let me tell ya...that guy is friggin hilarious...I haven't laughed so much in a long time...I thought I had a great time at the bowling extravaganza last night, but this was right up there too...lol...Although, I must admit I was taken by surprise by the amount of my co-workers I encountered at the show...I didn't expect to see so many of them...ah well, it was all good clean fun and I was sitting beside Rick Bartolucci...so, the political jokes were that much funnier...LOL...boy did he shuffle in his seat quite often...lol...too funny! Anyway, I had a great time...and want to thank Yves for coming with me as a last minute date...love ya bud! Anyway, that's it for now, I must get ready to slumber...my bed awaits...night night!

A bowling I will go...

Okay people...tonight is finally the night...the night of the long anticipated...rarely duplicated...big gay (with one straight chick) bowling extravaganza...Can't wait...I'm gonna kick some ass...lol...okay, maybe not...I kind of suck at bowling...but I do love it immensely...I might have gotten a bit better with help from my mother's Wii...lol...God I hope so...Humiliation better not be in the cards! Please God let me be the high scorer for once...let me put my friends to shame...let them bow and say my name...LOL!! Okay, okay, let me at least not be the lowest gal on the totem pole and we'll call it even! We're even going out to Montana's where according to my friend Dominic there are many many HOT waiters...Oh my! lol...hope the food's as good as the view! lol...Ah well, I guess I'll soon find out...but first I must go to work and slave for 8 hours...perhaps see my guy and pinch his hot buns...lol...and then, and only then will I be ready to face the big gay bowling extravaganza that is ahead of me...wish me luck...hi ho hi ho, a bowling I will go....

Hacker...who art thou?

Well well well...it seems somebody out there in cyber space is having one heck of a good time hacking my facebook account...changing my status...my personal information...the lot...I must say I'm rather surprised they would pick on me...I mean, I'm not that interesting...I'm not famous, or rich, or popular...but apparently I'm special enough to be messed with. Well, I just want to let you know, whoever you are, that you haven't gotten the best of me...my info's been changed and I've already moved on as I'm sure you've already found your next victim of cyber crime. I'm just intensely disappointed in your behaviour...though I realize that you must be an immature, selfish, rather stupid and small minded person, I do feel bad that you have nothing better to do with your time than to pick on somebody who's actually a very kind, generous, loving person who would not hurt another person if she were paid to do so... I forgive you, whoever you are. I hope you can forgive yourself and move on. Que sera sera...

Frustration part deux...

I just wanted to take a moment to apologize to somebody special who made an enormous effort to try to make my Valentine's Day extra special...I know I previous eluded to the fact that the bulk of the day sucked...but alas there was a bright spot...Thank you for the beautiful lily...the delectable chocolate...the dinner...your heart...you are a truly remarkable person... Thank you...and Happy Valentine's day...

Frustration...

Okay people...you've guessed it...I'm having a very frustrating day...I love my kid, but there's just something about teenagers and attitude that don't mix...I came home yesterday after a really long day at the flower shop and found my house had been hit by Hurricane Jessica...FUCK! I love her, I do...I really really do...but I've gotten used to coming home to my peaceful apartment...and just plunking my tired ass onto my couch and vegging...but that's not happening anymore...I can't find the damn couch...apparently Jess has decided to remodel...or do an early spring cleaning...or some friggin thing...and what it boils down to is that my kitchen...living room...bathroom and every nook and cranny in between in cluttered up with fucking junk gallore! It's not good for my sanity...I need some kind of strategy that will help me rekindle a bit of my former calm and serenity before I completely lose the plot...maybe I should take up yoga...or tai chi...or something zen-like...I don't know...Valentine's day sucked...for more reasons than one...and now my kid's home and tearing the place apart...HELP!!!!!!!!! I need somebody to take me out of here...to someplace relaxing...someplace where I can turn my brain off for awhile and just chill...any suggestions?? Oh well...I think I'll go take a shower...perhaps throw on a movie...hibernate in my room and come out in the early morning light hopefully refreshed and sporting a more positive outlook...wish me luck...Ciao, adieu...buh bye la...

Waiting...

Waiting is all I seem to do these days...I wait for the bus, I wait in line for coffee, I wait in line at the grocery store, I wait for lunch, I wait for the end of the day to go home...I wait for a ride, or the bus again...I wait for phone calls, for mail, and for that special someone to come over. I wait, and wait, and wait. Have I mentioned how much I hate waiting?? I do...I hate it...call me impatient...call me hasty, call me whatever the hell you want...but I'm telling you right here and now...I hate to wait! Right now, as we speak I am waiting...waiting for somebody to keep his word and come over...waiting to see him so that I can feel that special tingle only he can make me feel...I'm waiting to see his beautiful smile...waiting to hold his hands...to hear his husky voice speak my name...I'm waiting for him to hold me, feel me...love me...I'm waiting....

Love

Tonight I wanted to write a bit about what's in my heart. I'm in love....sooooo in love. The man to whom I owe this outpouring of emotion is a tall, dark and handsome fella...charming, sweet and extremely passionate. He's funny and wise and makes my heart skip a beat every time he walks into the room. I get chills whenever I hear his name spoken and I get as nervous as a schoolgirl when I know he's around. I just wanted him to know that if he's reading this...I love you! I love you I love you, I really really do... Can't wait for the future because I know you're in it...thank you for today, yesterday...and for all the tomorrows to come...You are my heart...I LOVE YOU!

Here I go a' musing.....

It's early morning...6:24 am to be exact...I woke up before the alarm...I have a headache...I have to get ready for work...although I feel a bit shitty the thought of heading into work and seeing my guy makes me smile...the thought of a nice hot coffee courtesy of my elderly co-worker Margaret also brings a smile to my lips...I'm sure Margaret may have been the original Mrs. Doubtfire...you see, she's an old Scottish woman who can tell you stories of being in London during WWII...ah yes, the lass has many a story about the war...the potato famine, the wild parties on the Isle of Man...the dampness that invaded her bones on the best of days...and an array of old Scottish customs that would make anybody laugh...(though not to her face). You see, even though she rambles; and ramble she does...to anybody who'll listen poor girl...she's probably the best co-worker a gal could have...she's taught me so much in the wee bit I've known her. I am now an excellent brass, silver and copper polisher...I've learned that you can either do a job well...(which usually entails ripping a place apart to get into all the nooks and crannies) or you can do it fast...it's really up to you....I've learned that sometimes saying nothing at all is better than charging in like a bull in a china shop...and I've learned that even though people may come from a different country and a different time, have vastly different backgrounds...they all love the same...and I must say...I love you Margaret! Thanks for being you! You wee Scottish lass! XOXO
So, with that I bid you adieu...musing's done for today... Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to work I go....

What is it about love?

What is it about love that has us so distracted?
Is it the passion and the lust to which we are attracted?
A million stars light up the sky the first time two people kiss.
The gentleness is profound when bodies mesh in carnal bliss.
There is another side to love however, that most often than not,
Is ugly, hard and cruel, for which we have forgot.
For all the beauty that love brings, tables too often are turned.
Then bitterness sets in, we are broken, we are burned.
So what is it about love that keeps us on it's track?
Perhaps it's the hope that someday,
Someone will love us back!

Chiropractor, chiropractor, crack me up please!

Well, as most of you know, I fell a few weeks back and sprained my hip. Today however, I went to my second visit to the chiropractor... I met Dr. Sherri a few months ago when she was adjusting the backs of my employer's dogs...yes...the dogs...lol... I had no idea if she was any good because the dogs haven't said a word about it to me...but, I figured what the hell...it certainly couldn't hurt...could it? Well, on my first visit Sherri took a scan of my entire spinal column, as well as my feet...I watched a little video about what chiropractic care could do for me and then she adjusted my back...initially everything felt good...that was on friday...on sunday my neck was killing me...I worked it out with A5-3-5, tylenol, ibuprofen and a muscle relaxant...lol...felt better on sunday evening...Monday was a new day...bringing me to my second appointment...this time Dr. Sherri gave me all the results of my scans...well, I'm in bad shape...my spine looks like something out of the X Files...lol...but, she did assure me that she'll have me back up and running in no time...another 100 adjustments and boom, I'll be a new woman...lol...
Well, upon my return to work, my employer, who is a very witty, sarcastic and funny man says: "How did it go?" I say "Not bad, but she said my back's in bad shape...look at the copy of the scan she took of my back...I've got more verterbra out than I do in!!" lol...and my employer, being the man that he is says to me..."Well, when is she putting you down??" LMAO!! I said, "I'm not sure, but I'll let you know if it comes down to that." LOL! Well, after a few more comments about my going to the vet to get my back adjusted, I laughed, told him he was silly, and left him. What a day this was........... Adieu, Salut, Goodbye...Ciao...

Update...

Hello...I realize it's time for a blog update. I've been so busy between work, falling down the stairs and spraining my hip, catching the flu and falling madly, deeply in love that I've had absolutely not had the luxury of the time nor the inclination to muse on any subject whatsoever. I suppose it is time to rectify this however so here I go.

Things I've learned in January 2009:
1- slippery steps should be salted by your landlord at all times or else you'll slip and fall down every single one of the bastards...
2- a constipated dog is not a picnic
3- old people get sick, have strokes...tell you you're getting married to "some fella" and the next day forget all about it...
4- I'm learning to love my new slimmer body
5- even at 38, when that special someone looks at me and smiles, I become the sexiest creature on the planet
6- I feel like a teenager because the man I love told me he loves me too...I'm now officially the happiest woman in the world...

I know this note is short and sweet, and perhaps lacking in the musing department...but all I can think about is him...and how much I love him...ah oui, c'est l'amour!!!!!!