Is anybody out there???

I know my last posting was full of shits & giggles....but this one isn't...it's all fallen apart...I still have the house in Welland, though God only knows for how long...I'm now single, alone, scared out of my flipping mind and so sad I can't stop crying... Jess is still here and her friend Chriss is also living with us but we have no savings, no jobs, bills piled to the sky and my so called friends are nowhere to be seen. I have no car, no money in the bank, no food in the house...cats, dogs & the rest of us are starving...no litter, no money of course for bus fare to even get us to a food bank...these are awful, dire times...I feel so completely lost...I want to call people, but those I've chosen to talk to have not been especially helpful or even receptive...I guess it's just a.ll too much drama for them...I strive as a human being to help those in need...I've taken in all sorts of strays from animals to people...given them food, shelter, comfort...when I need all of that the most there's nobody here to help me...I know that I'll make it through this...I always do...but this shit is getting harder as I get older...I figured that by the time I turned 40 I'd have my own home...be settled down with a husband, a good job, a couple of pets and my daughter by my side. Besides my daughter being by my side and a whack of starving, flea infested pets, I have nothing to offer. My poor kid's trying her best not to completely lose her mind while I have a meltdown. I'm trying so hard to be strong for her right now, to be her safe haven, her rock, but I'm afraid I'm failing miserably. I'm worn down, broken, and truly a complete and total chocolate mess. I wish I could say different but it's the God's honest truth. I feel so completely vulnerable right now and all I can think of is..."Christmas is coming and I'll have nothing to give my daughter"...how sad is that?? Somebody help me...give me hope...give me food...give me money for food...somebody be my rock...my leaning post...somebody relieve me of my burdens...I miss my Dad so very much right now...I feel like all would be better if I could just be in his strong arms right now. I want to hear him tell me everything will be alright. I want to feel that safe and secure feeling I had as a child that everything was okay, no matter what. Remember those carefree days when you were blissfully unaware of bills, problems, stress of any kind, except maybe that your friend pushed you and now you weren't talking to them anymore, until the next day when they offered you a cookie and all was well again?? I want that feeling back...I want to feel in control again...I feel completely overwhelmed and completely out of control of my emotions and everything around me. Please God, if you read blogs...I just ask this of you...HELP! Take this load off my back...I promise I'll owe you one...Hope somebody is reading and answers my prayers...

Sadly yours...

Mamacita :(